Mona Shores 3 Forest Hills N/E 1

Ever since Zednik got kicked in the throat by Jokinen, I’ve been obsessed with the vulnerability of my carotid artery. We don’t often think about the carotid until it’s too late. So, I‘ve taken to wearing protection around my throat, including my neckguard or in a pinch, a scarf or a bow tie, and not just on the ice, but off the ice as well. Even working as a desk jockey, dangers lurk around every corner. Sharp toothed staple removers, Xacto-Knives, letter openers, # 2 pencils honed to a needle-like tip, even the razor edge of 20# bright white copy paper can be lethal, if carelessly aimed. I encourage all readers to protect your necks and be aware of your carotid artery (and its kid brother, the jugular vein) at all times. On to the game.

Perhaps recent rumors of the Sailors demise have been greatly exaggerated. Hockey followers who have been enjoying taking potshots at the Sailors from afar, much like sports fans who celebrate losses by the Yankees, Patriots, Pistons, Redwings, Manchester United, Walter Ray Williams Jr, ..may have to find another hobby after Wednesday night’s game at the Patterson Ice Center (formerly Standard Federal Ice) in GR. The Sailors put together an inspired effort led by solid goaltending to again beat the surging Forest Hills North/East Huskies, 3-1 and solidify their position atop the OK Conference Tier 1 Division.

Gametime temperatures were hovering in the low 40's inside the Patterson, where like the Lakeshore, you can see your breath and little kids can pretend to be smoking. But weather was not expected to be a factor for the game. Shores was celebrating the return of the banished “Brock Concert” Carlston and Adam “Mello Drama” Meloche, recently paroled after paying their debts to society for on-ice offenses. The reuniting celebration was short lived, as early in the game Meloche took at errant stick to the jaw resulting in a laceration and concussion as he staggered to the bench. Somehow, this stabbing escaped the eagle eyes of the on ice officials, whose attention must have been averted somewhere other than in front of the net where Meloche was shooting at the time.

Fortunately, a short time later Tyler “I Ain’t Got Time To Grieve” Grevious, with a flair for the dramatic, accepted a pass from Mike “8 By 10" Soto and Austin “Z Force” Zaloga, cut across the front of the net and backhanded the puck over the shoulder of the Huskies Ian Jester with 4:33 remaining in the opening round.

Not to be outdone, Kyle “Just Because We Hang Out In Our Driveway All Summer Doesn’t Make Us Hicks” sacrificed his shins in blocking a FHNE slapshot at the Sailor blue line, which bounced fortuitously onto the friction-taped blade of Bret “Pea” Grevel, who went blue line to goal line, putting the puck beneath Jester from the right circle with :59 remaining in the two goal period.

Both goalies traded outstanding saves in the second period, highlighted by Scottie “Big & Tall” Tiefenthal, on a dubious penalty shot call against the Sailors to Ben Biondo at 2:20, waiting, waiting, and waiting as Biondo dragged the puck before snapping a forehand center mass at the patient Tiefenthal. Midway through the period, Sailor coaches appeared to cheat death as they stood by, statue-like, while a deflected puck split the difference between Head Coach Link’s and Assistant Coach Clark’s heads before crashing to the wall behind them. At 8:34 of the 2nd period, Jester went after an errant puck to the side of his net as Soto and David “Do The Chickens Have Large Talons?” Coppock came thundering in. Soto came up with the puck, faked forehand and went around Jester to the backhand side, where Jester appeared to use telekinesis to keep the puck out of the net. Coppock scooped up the change, and fired another shot which seemed destined for the net but instead was absorbed by Jester. The two would team up again, this time with success at 11:39, as Soto secured his place in the Muskegon Chronicle and the WMHSH Blog, assisted by Coppock.

At the start of the third period, I ran down to the tunnel to remind Tiefenthal of his shutout and encourage him to keep it intact. Carlston opened the period with a cross checking penalty just :27 in, but an active Sailor defense kept the Huskies not only scoreless, but shot-less. Both teams participated in wild breakouts and odd man rushes, with FHNE cracking the code to Tiefenthal with 7:04 remaining on a goal by Luke Swardenski, assisted by Jeff Johnston. Final shots on goal, one of the most subjective statistics in all of sports, were 30 - 24 in favor of the Sailors. The hit of the game for Mona Shores came at 6:48 of the third period by Mike Soto, who took on a Husky at the Sailor blue line, hitting him so solidly that it resulted in a face off in the corner; and by face off, I don’t mean a dropped puck by the official. Did anyone ever notice that when coach Boyd whistles on the bench, it sounds exactly like the intro to Steve Miller’s Jungle Love? Maybe it’s just me.