Blogging Mona, Paris & the Battle at Lakeshore

As I’m sitting down to record the results of the Mona Shores vs. Grand Haven playoff game, like a lot of hockey fans, I can’t stop thinking about Paris Hilton. I saw last night on the news that Paris is looking for a new BFF and taking her search to reality television, which naturally caused me to wonder, what would happen if I were to somehow win the series and become Paris’s new best friend forever? What would I do with my new buddy Paris Hilton? Hmm.

I’d probably take her bowling first, then maybe to get a Hep C test in case we shared chicken nuggets or she sneezed into my open cut or eyeball or something. I’d bring her to visit the Muskegon Correctional Facilities, since she’s done some hard time, which might help remind her not to backslide. I’m sure we’d thumb wrestle, go out for beers with the guys (Heini’s if she’s buying), have a catch when it gets nice out, visit the Little Easy for Chinese takeout or the mall kiosk for an Orange Julius, stay up late and read my old blogs, watch re-runs of The Simpleton Life about her former BFF Nicole Ritchie, time my jump when we’re on the trampoline so she could catch major air,...just me and my new friend Paris. Ah, who am I kidding? I probably won’t even sign up for the show. But if I did win and she was already my BFF, I’d have brought her to the MS vs. GH Division II Pre-Regional #17 game at the Lakeshore Sports Centre Wednesday night at 7:00pm for sure.

Monday night’s five OT marathon against RP looked like it took its toll on the Buccaneers, physically and emotionally, as well as depriving them of their number 1 scorer, Senior Luke Reenders. But as Donald Rumsfeld said, “You go to war with the army you’ve got, not the army you want.” It was natural to expect a letdown after such an emotional contest, and the Buc’s didn’t disappoint. This game was a thorough thrashing from the visitors in white, from the opening drop until the merciful ending after two periods of shock and awe, with a final score of
9-0.

After a couple of scoring opportunities by the Buc’s early in the first against Sailor goalie Scottie “Tee Party” Teifenthal, Grand Haven struggled to control the puck against the swifter Sailors. Shores wasted little time in putting up their first, when Adam “Ice Melt” Meloche, who many fans recalled from the pre-game player introductions, stuffed a rebound past Sean Kittredge at 3:24. Meloche was assisted by his BFF’s JC “White Boyd” and Ryan “Burm Ice Star” Burmeister. Shores collected two more in the opening act, with Boyd and Meloche changing places as Boyd tossed one in off his backhand from Meloche and Brendan “Sturr Stick” at 6:08; then “Mic Check” Soto collected a rebound off a Kyle “Style Points” Hicks snap shot from the right circle and made a drive thru deposit into the net.

Buccaneer assistant coach Scott Compton, long known around these parts known for his fiery locker room speeches, was called upon during the first intermission to flip the switch and rally his troops in the second period. But it appeared Compton had gone to the well once too often, for a three nothing score at the end of one led to a Sailor surge in the offensive zone in the second. And, to quote the now retired Rumsfeld's buddy, General Petraus: "The surge was working."

Three more goals were recorded by Boyd, with a Soto snipe sandwiched in between. Assists were accumulated by: Burmeister, Hicks, Tyler “Big Mac with Cheese” McCarl, Meloche, and a two-for by “Brock Solid” Carlston. Rounding out the scoring for MS were Austin "Zalo-Guns” Zaloga, with help from “Take the Body By Jake” Stevens and “Brett & Butter” Grevel; and with his first V goal, #89 Eric “Mo-Town” Moblo, with support from Soto.

The hit of the game was a bunker-buster delivered accidentally on a trapped linesman by Mike Soto just inside the GH blue line, smacking the official like a baby with a serving spoon and a sauce pan. To his credit, the official sprang to his feet and shook off the hit, just like the coaches preach. Shots favored the Sailors by a margin of 30-5. Sailor goaltending duties were shared between Teifenthal, who recorded the win, and Dan “The Torpedo’s” Harwood, who spelled the relatively fresh Tiefenthal in the second.