Alpena 5 Mona Shores 1

Haters: Please re-read the headline above and stop reading here. Friends, family and fans of Mona Shores hockey may continue to read at their own risk below:

It was my first trip ever to Alpena, or more specifically, Thunder Bay. And I had a lot of work to do to prepare, this being my first time in Canada. But with a pocketful of Loonies, my French to English Dictionary, passport, my toque, and portable Garmin, I was ready to roll. We had chartered buses, and I took the non-alcohol bus since I don’t imbibe. The other three elderly passengers and I boarded at the Lakeshore and after being mooned by the men and women of the alcohol bus, summarily departed headed North.

There is much I learned about Alpena. First, it is in Michigan. Secondly, the local tribes of Alpena are very much like our people in the lower, developed area of the state. They do not reside in huts or igloos, but have buildings, schools, running water, correctional facilities, and many of the other things we take for granted. It’s good to experience other cultures up close to appreciate how alike we all really are.

Finally, it was apparent that all Alpenians wear skates, regardless of age and gender. Children are taught to skate at a very young age, and we witnessed young and old skating the streets, ditches, ponds, sidewalks, and rivers of Alpena, kind of like how the Dutch take to wooden shoes. The more I contemplated this realization, the more I worried that this was an omen of things to come...

Friday night’s opener was against the host Alpena Wildcats at the very new, very loud Northern Lights Arena adjacent to the Thunder Bay Recreational Center. With the game being simulcast by radio station 107.7 THE BAY (which can also be heard on-line for future reference), you couldn’t help but develop an appreciation for the importance of hockey in this area. Even the Star Bangled Banner was a production, with 9 members of the Alpena Barbership Chorus performing admirably before the game. Alpena also has a very quirky game announcer, somewhere between Ken Kal of the Wings and Elmer Fudd of Warner Bros., but again, adding color to Alpena hockey. The Wildcats were 9-5-1 coming into the game, averaging 3.5 goals per game and 27 shots. Already this season, they have dispensed with: the Sault, E. Kentwood, TC Central, Cadillac, and tied Marquette.

Soon after the drop, it was apparent that the game was going to be controlled by Alpena. The Wildcats breakout was effective, their passing was on the tape, and their defense clamped down on the Sailors and limited their scoring opportunities. Time of possession favored the Wildcats, who looked to be toying with the Sailors at times. Despite this, MS struck first. With just 1:03 remaining in the first period, Mike Soto “Cross”, on a nice tic-tac-toe from Ryan “Burger Meister” Burmeister and Adam “Meloche Ness Monster,” slammed the puck home to the delight of the Sailor’s bench and fans.

In the second period, it didn’t take the Wildcats long to exact their revenge. With just 1:01 elapsed, Alex Senchuk took the first shot of the 2nd and scored their first goal, unmolested in front of the net. Precisely two and half minutes later, Alpena’s Jarret Krajniak took advantage of a Sailor infraction and made his second of five appearances on the scoresheet with a goal at 3:31. Penalties continued to haunt the Sailors, due to the fact that the Wildcats were taking advantage of them while the Sailor power play was largely ineffectual. At 6:55 of the 2nd period, Greg Baranyai buried another PP goal after the Sailors coughed up the puck at their own blue-line and Baranyai used a screen to disguise his slapshot. Rebounds were offered up by Alpena’s goalie, Sophomore Tyler Schultz, but there were no takers for the Sailors.

At 1:09 in the third, Burmeister brought Sailor fans briefly to their feet, which is good because they were starting to feel like they were developing blood clots from so much sitting, when he broke loose and went mano- y- mano with Schultz, who dropped to the ice and caught the puck to the deny the would be scorer. The Wildcats continued their offensive output with even strength goals by #18, Jonathan Straley at 3:58, on a put-back of a slapshot rejected by Sailor goalie Scottie “Iced Tee” Tiefenthal, and a final goal by #21, Krajniak on a pass across the crease at 5:43. Shots for the game favored the Wildcats by a 24-18 margin, with Sailor’s netminders Tiefenthal and Chris “Grin &” Barrett sharing the responsibilities.

For the Sailors, the hit of the game came at 13:43 of the first from Drew “A Bead On You” Skocelas, who despite a multitude of bumps and bruises, pancaked a Wildcat at the Sailor blue line, dropping him like a redneck on the business end of a taser.

Fun (?) Fact. MS has never won the Alpena Booster’s Club Invitational Tournament and Alpena hasn’t won it since 1997, which is a tribute to the quality of the teams invited. One more thing worth noting, the Alpena Booster’s Club, all shenanigans aside, are some of the most gracious hosts you will ever come across in high school hockey.